"No Respect" part 5 of 5

Story and script by: Richard Gutierrez

When last we left our web-covered hero, members of the shape-shifting alien race, known as the Skrulls, had him surround. They were on Earth following the lead of Super Skrull, who had opened up an underground gun running operation in New York to help eliminate the "mammal opposition". They had kidnapped the wife of Daily Bugle street reporter, Ben Urich, in hopes of keeping their plot secret. Spider-man, in his civilian identity of Peter Parker, is friends with Ben and his wife. On investigating Ben’s sudden exit from the Bugle one day, discovered the alien’s presence. Now teamed with the vigilante Punisher, the motor-mouthed mercenary, Deadpool, and the duo of Powerman and Iron Fist, he must battle a virtual battalion of Skrull warriors…and not to mention the super powered Super Skrull who possess the entire range of powers as the legendary Fantastic Four! Whew! We now return you to the battle royal…already in progress…DUCK!!

Powerman: (throwing a Skrull into the air) Heads up Fist, one slimy green guy heading your way!

Iron Fist: (with sarcasm) Thanks.

Danny Rand, a.k.a. iron Fist, punches the incoming Skrull in the face.

Deadpool: (back to back with the Punisher, blasting away at aliens) Hey Punny..it is ok that I call you Punny right? I’ve heard Spider-Man call you that since I got here and it just has such a nice ring to it. Maybe I’ll write a song with it…hmmm let’s see…

Deadpool: …I know. Punny, Punny, I know it might sound funny, but he’ll get you if you steal some money. He wears a big skull on his chest, Daredevil doesn’t like him, too me he’s the best. I don’t care what you might have to say, tougher than Eastwood, Make my day!

BLAM! BLAM!

Punisher: (spinning around with his gun at the side of Deadpool’s skull) Shut up!

Deadpool: (spinning around with his gun at the Punisher’s head) I know I was off key a little but it’s no reason to get nasty about it.

Deadpool: Nice shot!

The two turn back around and continue blasting away as two Skrulls, one on each side of them, fall to the ground.

Spider-Man (dodging blast from the Super Skrull): This is so unfair! The others are battling the henchmen and I’m the one left with the big guy!

Super Skrull: That is because they are smarter than you. They know they have no chance against the best that the Skrull empire has to offer. If only you where has smart.

Spider-Man: (sticking to the side of a wall, firing webs at Super Skrull) Well, not to be modest, but I’m known more for my boyish good looks than my brains.

The web wraps itself around the Skrull’s arm.

Super Skrull: Hahahahaha!!! Is that the best you can do? I can easily use the power of the Human torch and burn this primitive substance off my arm.

Spider-Man: If I give you a chance.

Spider-Man then yanks on the web line and it lifts the Skull into the air. Spider-man then slams the alien into a nearby brick and concrete wall.

The wall collapses burying the Skrull under rubble.

Powerman: (head-butting a Skrull) Christmas!

Deadpool: (blasting a Skrull) Christmas? Is it that time already? Oh wait a minute…that’s your battle cry right? Where did you get that from? I look at you and I don’t see “Christmas”. I see “Word” or “Phat” or…oo oo I got one… “Off the hezzee”!

Punisher: (blasting a Skrull) Someone anyone…shut him up.

Iron Fist: (kicking a Skrull in the face) It looks like we’ve finished off the troops, I think we won.

Spider-Man: I don’t think so.

The assembled heroes look as the rubble that had settled on top of the Super Skrull begins to move!

Super Skrull: (rising from the rubble) Nice…try…mammal! I was easily able to shield myself with the power of the Invisible Woman and the strength of the Thing was plenty to lift the pile off of me. Care for another shot?

Before the heroes can react, the Skrull uses the stretching ability of Mr. Fantastic to reach out and deck both Deadpool and the Punisher knocking them both out.

Iron Fist: In less than a second he’s cut are forces by 40%!

Powerman: That’s ok, we’re better suited for this kinda stuff anyway.

Powerman runs at the Skrull and lays a thundering right onto the Skrull’s jaw! The sound of the punch can be heard for blocks! The sound of the Skrull’s laughter can be heard for miles!

Powerman: Christmas! That was my hayest haymaker! It didn’t even phase you.

Super Skrull: True. Let’s see if this phases you.

The Skrull punches Luke Cage, AKA Powerman, and sends him flying through the air like a 2 by 4 in a tornado. And we all know what happened when that 2 by 4 meet a brick wall?

Iron Fist: Luke!

Spider-Man: He landed stuck in the wall!

Iron Fist: If he is dead alien, I swear by Kun Lun that you will pay.

Iron Fist begins to focus his inner chi and transforms his hand into a thing of iron!

Iron Fist punches the Skrull, hurtling him back several feet.

Super Skrull: Ahh, I had forgotten how powerful your Iron Fist is. I tell you what, see if you can punch your way out of this.

The Super Skrull then traps Iron fist in a bubble of invisibility. Iron Fist tries to punches his way out but since the iron fist takes so much out of him, it is impossible to escape.

Super Skrull: HAHAHArmmmphh!!

Spider-Man: (firing webbing down his throat) Choke on that scale face!

As the Skrull tries to clear his throat, Spider-Man runs over to Iron Fist who is lying exhausted on the ground.

Spider-Man: Rest easy my friend. I’ll try and keep twinkle toes busy long enough for you to recover and wake the others. The only chance we have is a team strike. We attacked as individuals and he got the better of us. Now, it’s up to me to hold off this guy.

Spider-Man turns to face the Skrull just as he removes the last of the webbing from his throat.

Super Skrull: I see it is just you and me, mammal. I will end this quickly.

Mary Jane: (to self) Come on MJ, run faster. Almost there…almost there… (out loud) Thanks for waiting.

Bus Driver: (flabbergasted by MJ’s beauty) No prob…lady. Hey, aren’t you that model, Mary Jane?

Mary Jane: Yes I am.

Bus Driver: Why you ride’n the bus for? I'm soores you gots plenty of cash to get youse a nice car’n all.

Mary Jane: That’s what I keep telling my husband. Thanks again for waiting. If I’d missed this bus I’d have died.

With that MJ heads to her seat and the bus driver closes the door and drives away.

Mary Jane: (to self) When Peter gets home tonight I’m going to sit him down and tell him that we are going to buy a car, period! It’s not that I truly mind riding the bus or subway but now that I’ve gone back to modeling full time we’ve got the money to get us a car. Let’s see, I could threaten to expose his Spider-Man ID to the Bugle. I could break out the little black teddy from my last modeling gig and "model" it for him, hmmm, that sounds like fun anyway!

At the front of the bus…

Bus Driver: (to self) I can’ts wait to tell all the fellas about who was on my bus today. They always come back in saying, "He was on my bus." "She was on my bus." But none of those guys have had such a lovely lady as me. This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened on my..bus? Oh shi….!

The driver’s thought is cut short when a car swerves in front of him on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Bus Driver: Everyone hold on!

The driver turns the wheel, but over compensates and the bus rides up on the curb of the bridge and breaks through the barriers! The bus slowly comes to a stop hanging over the side of the bridge!

Riders: AAAHHHHH!! Help!

MJ: What happened? Oh no! The people are starting to panic. If anyone moves we might tip the bus enough to fall of the bridge! Everyone please calm down! Don’t move!

Unfortunately, someone doesn’t listen…

Super Skrull: (trying to wrap Spider-Man in his arms) Stand still! Stop trying to postpone the inevitable. I will catch you and then crush you!

Spider-Man: (dodging away) Yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah. Been there, heard that, didn’t even want the T-shirt.

Super Skrull: Let’s try something different.

The Super Skrull then fires a blast of fire at the wall crawler.

Spider-man: (Dodging away) try again.

Super Skrull: I won’t have to.

Then , he sets up an invisible barrier in the path of Spider-man’s dodge.

Spider-man: My spider sense is tingling, but I’m stuck in the air!

Spidey smashes into the barrier falling to the ground. The Skrull picks him up.

Super Skrull: I’ve won you little mammal!

Powerman: (from behind) Not quite, ugly.

Powerman had grabbed a steel beam and uses it to hit the Skrull in the head.

The Skrull is staggered.

Deadpool: (blasting the Skrull with one of the other alien’s weapons) I hear fried lizard taste like chicken.

Punisher: (also blasting him with a weapon) Shut up and blast him.

Iron Fist goes over to Spider-Man.

Iron Fist: Did I wait long enough?

The two heroes begin to pummel the distracted Skrull until his is knocked out! Then over head the sound of several helicopters are heard. The heroes look up and see several SHIELD agents descending down to the ground and start loading up Skrulls.

Powerman: Now they so up. Hey listen, Spidey not to help you kick butt and run but I really don’t feel like sticking around for this.

Spider-Man: No problem. You and Fist take it easy and thanks for your help.

Deadpool: Hey look is that Nick Fury over there? Hey Punny, it’s Nick Fury! Do you see…Punny…Punny? Where did he go?

Punisher: (from alleyway, to self) Yes I see Nick Fury…the man everyone told me I had killed. I’m sure there will be a reckoning.

See Punisher #7 for this meeting…GUTE SAYS

And with that the Punisher disappears into the shadows.

Deadpool: (teleporting away) You know something I just thought of…SHIELD probably wants me dead so….bye now.

Nick Fury: Good job Spidey. We knew these guys where on Earth somewhere, just didn’t know where. Since you’re not busy right know, care to help us with a little mutant problem? *

Spider-man: No thanks Fury, I think I’d rather pull all the hair out of my body with a set of tweezers.

Spider-Man swings away and heads to his home in Forrest Hills.

Spider-Man (coming in the house from an upstairs window): MJ are you here? MJ I’m home?

That’s strange she should’ve been back from her shoot by know. Oh well, I’ll just watch some TV and re..lax

Peter turns on the TV and is stunned to see the lead story on the news…is the death of his wife!