Sensational Spider-Man #3
"No Respect" part 4 of 5
Guest starring The Punisher, Deadpool, Iron Fist, and Powerman
Story and script by: Richard Gutierrez
Spider-Man and all prominent characters TM and Copyright Marvel Entertainment Group 1998
***Note: Read Punisher #3 for part 3***
NEW YORK CITY
Have you ever gone to see a movie and from watching the preview and trailers you know how it would end? You knew the characters motivations. Knew the good guys, the bad guys, and the damsel in distress. Well, The Sensational Spider-Man and the gun toting vigilante called the Punisher, thought they where after a simple "out of town" gunrunner who was trying to take over New York. Right now though, they don’t even know if this movie theater has milk duds. It turns out that the "out of town" dealer is really a member of the shape-shifting race of aliens called the Skrulls. Not only that, he is the most powerful! He possesses the combined powers of the Fantastic Four. The elasticity of
Mister Fantastic, the monstrous strength of the ever lovin’ blue eyed Thing, the invisibility of the Invisible Woman, and the flame powers of the Human Torch. He has gone toe to toe against the Fantastic Four, Thor, The Hulk, and even the Silver Surfer…and no one has been able to stop him for long. He is called the Super Skrull. Now this powerhouse is squared off against Spidey and the Punisher…
Spider-Man (dodging a several flame blast, to self): This is not happening! The Punisher and I came to this warehouse to find this gunrunner and POW we end up going head to head with the Super Skrull.
Punisher (firing his guns at Super Skrull, to self): This is insane! I don’t know what I’m doing fighting this alien. Look at him. My bullets are bouncing off of him like he’s surrounded by some invisible force field. I need to get my hands on one of those guns that he’s been flooding the streets with. I’ve seen it blast whatever it hits into dust.
Super Skrull: Come on heroes, you can do better than this. I’m not even working up a sweat here. I’d almost welcome the Fantastic Four into this battle to at least give me a workout.
Spider-Man (pointing behind him): Be careful what you wish for…there they are!
Super Skrull (turning around): Where…?
Spider-Man (leaping and punching him): Right here!
POW!
The Super Skrull turns and his eyes flare with fire.
Spider-Man: Aww man. This is going to hurt isn’t it?
Punisher: Web head? Duck!!!!
Spider-Man leaps out of the way as the Punisher grabs a hold of one of the Skrull’s weapons and fires it at the Super Skrull.
ZZZZZRACK!!!
Super Skrull: Aarggh!!!
The blast hits the Super Skrull square in the chest. He is forcefully thrown into a stack of crates and surrounded by steam.
Spider-Man: You did it? Wow! Now give me a minute to call SHIELD for pick…
Punisher: You might what to tell them to hurry.
The two heroes look as the massive stack of creates are moved aside and the Super Skrull comes staggering out. The steam is rising into the air off of his force field.
Super Skrull: Let’s try this again.
He uses his ability to elongate his body and his strength to send a punch across the warehouse at the two heroes.
Spider-Man (grabbing the Punisher and dodging the fist): Move!
Super Skrull: Enough mammals! Troops…finish them.
Spider-Man: You know when he says "mammals" like that I almost feel dirty.
Punisher: We are about to be dirty…6-feet under. Why don’t you web up a barrier to give us some protection?
Spider-Man empties all his web cartridges and creates a huge web shield for the Punisher and him.
Spider-Man: How’s that?
Punisher: Great. Now I say we find away to get out of here and come back with some real help.
Deadpool: I agree.
Spider-Man and Punisher look behind them and sees the "Merc with a Mouth" Deadpool, standing there.
Spider-Man: What are you doing here?
Deadpool: Savin’ your bacon, old timer. I got a call, an offer, and a check. I’m here to get you out if things looked bad…and trust me I know what looks bad, you ever seen an old lady naked…nasty!
Punisher: How did you get in here?
Deadpool: Ahhhh! Ancient Chinese secret, grasshopper.
The Punisher pulls his gun and places it in Deadpool’s face.
Deadpool: You are soooooo touchy. Ok I teleported in. So, if you’ll all join hands…we are gone.
The three of them join hands and Deadpool uses his teleportation device built into his belt and they are gone.
Super Skrull: Where did they go? Find them.
Meanwhile…
Mary Jane Watson-Parker is at a photo shoot on the top of the Empire State Building.
Mary Jane (to self): I had forgotten how great this is! The lights, the camera, the action…I can’t believe I ever gave this up. I love it. I love the attention that I get from all these people. The only thing I don’t like is not have Peter be apart of it. I know I can’t be apart of his Spider-Man life…but I’m so happy doing this that I just want to share it with him.
Photographer: That’s it MJ. Move it. Shake it. The camera loves you MJ…loves you. Love it back! Give in to the camera!
Mary Jane (to self): Oh Peter! If only you could be here.
Across town…
Spider-Man, the Punisher, and Deadpool materialize outside the warehouse they were in…
Deadpool: First floor…pots, pans, Lewinsky brand cigars…oh wait that’s not right.
Spider-Man: Don’t you ever shut up?
Punisher: Where have I heard that before?
Deadpool: Thank you fellow crazy. Know that I’ve rescued you two from the little green men. I’ll take my leave.
Spider-Man: See ya.
Deadpool: Wait did I forget to mention that I was also paid to help you…sniff sniff…Hey this smells like a team up. Cool! I haven’t done that in awhile.
Spider-Man: No respect….none what so ever. Listen, the 3 of us are out manned against these guys…we need the Avengers, the FF, heck I’d take those Power Pack kids!
Iron Fist: How about us?
Spider-Man turns around and sees the martial arts expert and master of the "iron fist", Iron Fist and his partner the man with the steel hard skin and strength to match, Powerman.
Spider-Man: Finally. How did you guys hear of this.
Powerman: We were hanging out in our new headquarters, when we got an anonymous tip that you where down her fighting some aliens or something. The rest of Heroes for Hire was out on a case. We sent them word to join us when they are finished.
Spider-Man: Let me get this right…Someone "hires" motor mouth over there…
Deadpool: Hey! You can’t…wait a minute…I am a motor mouth. My bad. Continue…
Spider-Man: Anyway…someone also calls Powerman and Iron Fist and tips them to our location…HMMM…Punny help me out here but does this smell like pork?
Punisher: Exactly. It seems that the fat man, called Wilson Fisk a.k.a. the Kingpin of crime, has brought in reinforcements.
Iron Fist: I say we wait here tell the rest of Heroes for Hire to get here.
Super Skrull: I would agree with you except your time has run out.
The heroes turn around and are besieged by at least 20 Skrulls and their leader, the Super Skrull.
Deadpool: You talk about me running off at the mouth…sheesh! I’ve only had 4 lines since we came out here…my agent is going to here about this.
The 5 men stand back to back in a circle and prepare to defend themselves.
Spider-Man (to self): Let’s see what we’ve got here. I’m back to back with 2 killing machines named the Punisher and Deadpool. Two old comrades named Powerman and Iron Fist. 20 odd alien Skrulls. Seems fair, except for the big one in the middle.
Punisher: Let’s get it on!
End Issue 3
Next Issue the final chapter of "No Respect" as Spider-Man, The Punisher, Deadpool, Powerman, and Iron Fist must battle for their lives against the Super Skrull and his troops. Also, Shield shows up…and Mary Jane is back on a bus…after next issue, Spidey would have wished he’d bought a car!!!
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